Of Chickens and Transvestites
by TheFonzie
Summary: Based off an episode of Sex and the City, the name of which escapes me right now. When Stella's boyfriend moves on a little too quickly, she quickly take shelter at Lindsay's apartment meeting her two best friends D/L, S/M, and some OC loving for Flack.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This a repost because my account got messed up, so I'll probably be updating the already written part daily, but I am also thinking of extending past it's original thre chapters**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CSI:NY or the characters on it BUT I do own Jill and Cassie.**

**Summary: Based off an episode of Sex and the City, I can't remember the name right now. Oops. D/L, S/M, and maybe some OC loving for Flack. **

**Authors Note: It starts of kinda serious, forget Frankie and Stella happened or pretend that was a long time ago. I'm gonna try and keep it light, but that might not happen.**

--New York--

Stella held back the tears she could not cry in a public hallway and over something she felt was so stupid. She knocked on the door hoping Lindsay would answer, she heard shuffling and finally a smiling Lindsay opened the door. Her face fell when she saw Stella. "Oh my god, Stel what happened?"

"C-can I come in?" Stella asked. Lindsay let the older woman walk through the doorway.

"Stella what's wrong?" Lindsay asked she gestured to the couch where two silent women were staring at Stella.

"It's stupid, never mind," Stella wiped under her eye and stayed standing while Lindsay sat in an armchair.

"These two can help, Jill," Lindsay gestured to the brunette who was sitting cross legged, "And Cassie," she pointed to the woman with long curly red hair, "Are the best at fixing stupid girl problems."

"What else would we be good for?" Jill flashed Stella a huge grin.

Cassie nodded. Stella relaxed a bit, and started her story, "Well, you remember Steve?"

"Of course," Lindsay nodded, "You broke his heart."

Stella kicked of her shoes and shrugged off her coat before continuing, "Apparently I didn't break his heart I saw him today."

"Go on," the three other girls chorused.

"Well, he was on the patio of Mario's on 32nd street, and I was walking down the street on my way to your place 'cause you invited me over," she said to Lindsay, Lindsay nodded. "I stopped for a second to think through what I was going to do, anyways I decided to say hello act all confident. I went up and he said hi and I acted all surprised and said hey and I mentioned he looked good. He complimented me back, and then I noticed two beers at his table. I looked at them and thinking he wasn't over me I said 'Did I really so bad you need two beers?' I just came out. He then procceded to look at me like a sad puppy dog and say 'Well actually' then this girl came and sat beside him and took a sip of the beer, then his introduced me to _Susan_," Stella made a face, "His _new_ girlfriend. I was mortified, I said I had to get going and came directly here." Stella finished.

"Oh Stella, that's not stupid I would be horrified," Cassie said grabbing a wine glass from Lindsay's cupboard and pouring her a drink.

"Thanks," Stella took the drink, "Well it's weird like do men mourn over ruined relationships at all? I was the one that cheated not him shouldn't he be at home watching _Casablanca_ over and over again while I'm going out to all the clubs and having one night stands and stuff like that not the other way around."

"Men have no feelings," Jill started, "I broke up with this guy once and then two days later I see him and his new trophy sitting in a café."

"Yeah sometimes I wish I wasn't married I mean I see a hot guy checking me out and the first thing I wind up saying to him is 'I'm in a very happy marriage, please go away before I get tempted.'" Cassie said, "It sucks."

"At least you three can get a guy, I don't think I've gone on a date since the opera Mac dragged me away from. The Chinese take-out lady has memorized my order and actually laughs at me when I order. I've been single way to long." Lindsay said.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing 'cept for Jill and Cassie.**

--

"Hey Stel come on we're going to lunch." Lindsay grabbed Stella's hand and started to pull her to the door.

"We are?" Stella asked.

"Yep, we are, we're meeting Jill and Cass at the new café down the street." Lindsay let go of Stella's hand sure that she would follow on her own.

Stella started to walk beside Lindsay glad they were taking a break. Mac saw them walk by the lab and yelled after them: "Where are you going?"

"Lunch," Stella and Lindsay, said in unison.

"Were you going to tell me?"

"No, we're big girls we don't need to tell daddy were going to lunch." Lindsay said mockingly.

Stella laughed and Lindsay high-fived her.

--Café--

"What are you gonna have Jill?" Asked Cassie as they waited for Lindsay and Stella.

"Why does it matter?" Snapped Jill.

"Whoa, what's got your panties in a bunch?" Cassie mocked, "I was just making conversation."

"Well why don't you ask me who kept me awake all night instead."

"Oh, a new man, do tell." Cassie slammed down her menu.

"Oh they're men alright." Jill said, "Apparently my block is the hang-out for all the prostitute pre-op transvestites." Cassie burst out laughing, "It's not funny, all they do is scream 'Get your sexy tush back over her so you can get a piece of me.'"

"Oh yeah," Lindsay and Stella joined them, "My condo is kitty corner a vet hospital. They keep the chickens out all night all they do is crow it is bloody annoying. I think later today after I get off work I'm going over there to ask them to keep the chickens inside."

"I think only roosters crow," Stella pointed out.

"Whatever," Lindsay picked up a menu.

"Now you're here." Cassie started, "I've got to tell you that the problem with Trey is getting worse."

"Who's Trey?" Stella asked.

"Her husband," Jill said.

"What's the problem?" Stella asked another question.

"He can't get it up." Cassie whispered.

"Oh," Stella said, "That is a problem, but how can it get worse?"

"It's been six months, since we had sex. I'm, starting to think if it goes on for any longer I'll be re-virginized."

"What are you going to do?" Lindsay asked.

"I love him, but I think we might separate, we've tried everything."

"Except viagra," Cassie snorted.

"And we're not going to try viagra, it would all be false then." Cassie snapped.

"There's nothing wrong with it, I've been with men on the little blue pill." Jill sat back.

"You've gone on viagra," Lindsay said. Stella snorted.

"That's how I know there's nothing wrong with it."

"Can we please get back to my problem," Cassie asked impatiently.

"Yeah, so you might separate and," Lindsay turned her attention to Cassie.

"That's it we might separate," Cassie frowned, "But I don't want to do that it might lead to divorce and then I'll never be single again I'll be divorced, men don't like divorced women I'll be like diseased, like chicken that's been on the counter too long."

"Ugh, let's not talk about chicken." Lindsay said. The three girls laughed.

--Work--

"I hear you went to lunch?" Danny asked as Lindsay walked into the lab.

"Yeah," she said cautiously, "But you can't honestly tell me that's your attempt at having a conversation."

"Yeah it kinda is,"

"Oh I see,"

"How 'bout this: how was lunch?" Danny asked.

"That's better," Lindsay smiled, "It was good Stella came along."

"Yeah, I know."

Lindsay raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"I heard you two yelling at Mac."

"Or did he just tell you we were yelling because we weren't, we were simply telling him where we were going with our voices slightly louder than normal."

"Uh-huh,"

--Lindsay's Apartment--

_OK I have to do this or I'll starve, just pick up the phone and call the Chinese take-out place._ Lindsay let out a breath, and grabbed the phone.

"Hello Flaming Wok Take-out." A woman said on the other end of the phone.

"Hello I would like to order take-out." Lindsay said.

"Address please," the woman asked.

"11611 33rd Street apartment 3F, I'll would like Mushu-" She was cut off.

"I know Mushu pork, chow mein, and two spring rolls," the woman giggled, Lindsay sighed.

"Yeah, just get here as soon as possible." Lindsay hung-up before the woman could say anymore.

**Authors Note: On the show Sex and the City Charlotte's husband is named Trey as well (I'm very uncreative with names), but in the episode I am basing this story on they are separated.**


End file.
